Village Computer Services

24/12/2022

If your laptop fan is making too much noise, it either needs replacing or more likely, it just needs cleaning. Whatever you do, don't just try to silence it by taping up the holes 😳

13/04/2022

17/10/2020

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine ... I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry...
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Tech support: ; Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates..
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer' 'Ive even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
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Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support :Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work..
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer :I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer:' No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least...
Tech support:' Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: 'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

23/09/2020

A quiz worth taking if you're not super clued up. Be Scam Savvy.

Are you scam savvy? Or could your fraud knowledge do with a bit of a shake up? 🤔

Have a go at the 'Take 5 to stop fraud' quiz to find out!

http://orlo.uk/Vlp6I

04/04/2020

A new piece of malware/virus has been released that is preying on people's fears regarding the Coronavirus outbreak.
If you receive and email or a link posing as an NHS Coronavirus service, do not download or run any of the following files:

coronavirus.bat (the stager to install the malware)
end.exe (a boot record wiper written in Delphi to erase the master boot record and prevent the computer from booting)
mainWindow.exe (Shows a GUI with a picture of the Coronavirus and persuades people to launch coronavirus.bat)
run.exe (a program that starts the mainWindow.exe program)
Update.vbs (This currently isn't functional, but running it would make it always run silently in the background, possibly to infect you in the future)
cursor.cur (quite harmless but changes your cursor to a coronavirus node - just an annoyance)

The main aim of this virus is not yet known. It just changes the way your computer boots, and sometimes even prevents it from booting. It doesn't currently act as randsomeware (a virus that asks you for money to remove itself) but could become rendsomeware in the future for machines that have the Update.vbs running in the background.

Remember, if you are unsure about anything, please feel free to message me and I will be happy to help.

Stay safe.

16/03/2020

https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-uk-intelligence-agency-issues-public-warning-about-criminals-exploiting-outbreak-11958113

In a rare public warning the security service says it has detected attacks targeting people in Britain.

19/09/2019

Just because someone knows a few basic details about you, it doesn’t mean they are genuine. Fraudsters regularly use personal information to build trust and believability.

13/04/2019

Do you need to use Microsoft Office, but have difficulties using the software. Microsoft are now offering FREE courses if you want to brush up on your skills and utilise the software for what it's capable of. Check the replies to this post to choose the course for either Word, Excel or Powerpoint.

07/03/2019

Do you have concerns about your childrens' internet activity? OpenDNS FamilyShield is a fantastic tool to protect them from inappropriate content, and it's FREE to use. Ideally you can set it up at router level, but you can also set it up on individual devices. Follow the instructions at

Thanks for choosing OpenDNS! To get started, you’ll need to set up one or more of your devices to use OpenDNS’s DNS nameservers. For instructions on how to do this, choose your device type from one of the categories below.