04/08/2026
What was I made for?" Billie Eilish asked the question, but Indian Gen X women, Xenoras, are living it.
In The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel overhears her mother crying and saying "I won't be a mom anymore" during a terrifying medical emergency when Hazel is nearly dying. This fear haunts Hazel throughout the story, making her worry that her death will completely erase her mother's identity and purpose. The novel ends with Hazel dying but with her mother recognising that she will always be a mom. She builds a meaningful future by studying to become a social worker to help other families. She just needed to leverage her existing skills and knowledge to find a new purpose and build an additional identity.
Suburban Gen X Indian women (born 1965–1980) are experiencing an intense
midlife reckoning. Having spent decades balancing rigid traditional family
expectations with social and financial pressures of modern living, we are often
staring at empty nests (or soon-to-be empty nests) and asking: "What is next for me?" We are confident, resourceful, often financially and socially independent and ready to become the woman we were meant to be.
Only catch - no one taught us how to think for ourselves. We were given a compass with clear directions - education, marriage, kids, family, job, career. Staying in line was hard, straying was unimaginable. A constant storm is swirling in their heads
When did it end? All the enjoyment
I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend
It's not what he's made for
What was I made for?
These are hard questions that need careful deep personal contemplation - it's not a one size fit all. We don't want to betray our 20s selves, who fought hard for a place on the dining table and boardroom, while battling intense emotional burnout and menopause. Identifying a new purpose, challenging core beliefs and identity transformation is sustained hard work. Since we are the glue that holds the family together, our inner transformation requires un-glueing existing roles/relationships and also architecting new ones. Our families are waiting / watching for this transformation to unfold and a new safe space to be created.
The Queenager is emerging as I type - with new naive innocent dreams but small sure steps. She is going back to college, learning classical dance or building a new business, or simply travel the world.
Gen X men, apart from battling their own demons (LI post for another day), are waiting for us to create a new safe world
