06/18/2026
omens, blessings, avian flu, or pure coincidence?
i’ve gained weight and my favorite clothes don’t fit anymore. i like my clothes. i also like going out to restaurants with my girlfriend more than i like fitting into them, if i’m being honest.
still, i decided to start walking again. maybe lose a couple pounds. maybe clear my head.
three days ago i found a feather on the ground. my friend jo (shout out Jo Marie 🧿✨) once told me that finding a feather in your path is good luck. it perked me up. then i kept finding more feathers. and more. following them like breadcrumbs until i arrived at what can only be described as a crime scene: either a cat or a werewolf had torn the wings and head off a crow and made off with the torso.
disturbing. not exactly the kind of good luck i had in mind.
two days ago i walked to the used bookstore i used to frequent as a kid. i spent some time reading old books claiming vitamin c is basically a miracle cure for being alive and then started the mile or so walk home. i called mark on the way. while talking to him, i looked down and saw a whole dead crow.
not feathers this time. not parts. the entire bird.
its eyes were already gone. flies were conquering what was left. i took a picture, mostly to reassure myself that it was actually there.
yesterday i decided maybe walking could take a day off. i stayed home and turned on the tv.
dead crow on the tv.
okay, man. enough.
i did what everyone does when the universe starts repeating itself: i googled it. the results were mixed. some practical explanations suggested that a dead crow means a crow has died. others promised transformation, rebirth, wisdom, the end of a cycle. a few promised plain old death.
three days in a row and i still don’t know what to think or if it matters
maybe a dead crow is just a dead crow until you need it to be something else.
i wonder why the answer is always death when something changes.
the crow was already dead.
the people and things i would mourn are still alive.
I’m just trying to fit into my pants.