10/31/2025
When (not if) the zombie apocalypse hits, someone at Preston Spire is going to have to save humanity. We spent an embarrassing amount of office time trying to figure out who. Meet your five zombie fighting leaders. And Happy Halloween from the team who’s ready for anything.
Who are you following into the zombie apocalypse?
Jennifer is the obvious choice with her leadership skills and the power of her zomBEES. Ok, they’re just regular bees from her beekeeping hobby, but trained to savor the sweet nectar of zombie blood. As president, she’s already proven she can keep everyone alive during Q4. Plus, nothing says “apocalypse ready” like weaponized pollinators.
Misty “Misdemeanor” Matthews possesses an inner badassery perfect for leading the living to victory. She does two things well: 1. Solve client problems. 2. Crack skulls. In a post-apocalyptic world, these skills overlap more than you’d think. She’s the type who’ll calmly assess the situation, devise a plan, and then execute it, along with every zombie in a three-block radius.
Davis may seem buttoned up on the outside. But inside he’s a cold, calculating zombie killer. He’s a planner. A strategist. And the 2024 office fantasy football champion; which proves he knows how to exploit weaknesses and dominate when it counts. If anyone can lead us to safety without getting one drop of blood on his polo, it’s Davis.
Kari knows how to direct and juggle tasks under pressure. She’s a project manager, after all. Now she can take her hot lists to the next level with a zombie-torching flamethrower, all while yelling, “PUT THIS ON YOUR TIMESHEET!” Plus, at 5’1”, she can slip underneath zombie legs faster than you can say “scope creep.”
Creative Director Charlie now gets to creatively direct his Mjolnir into the brains of the undead. Standing at 6’4”, he could clear a path in a hurry. There probably won’t be any awards for killing zombies during the apocalypse, but he’ll gladly accept whiskey and smelling salts as compensation.
